Those Days Where You See Everyone You Ever Knew At The Worst Possible Moments...

Also referred to as "stop making questionable decisions in public Sarah!" The topic on my mind today is how to we gauge what's considered pushing ourselves too far outside of who we are from just enough to challenge ourselves and experience new things?  And why is it that in my sporadic moments of insanity I have to face the consequences long after because of the people I'm with?   I really don't think it's possible to experience anything alone because the brain was built for interaction and without it we would shrivel up and die an intellectual death which means that we really can't get away with anything.  So that means that when I decide to try not being a super up-tight person for one night and really just let go I have to do so in the presence of other people... bummer.  Slightly huge bummer for me actually because I did manage to have one of the craziest nights of my life the other night and enjoyed myself immensely only to realize that I'd be facing some rather lasting consequences the next day as a result.  And the overwhelming feeling I got from myself and others was that they never would have believed I would do a number of things that I did.  Is that a good thing or a bad thing?  Is it tragic that people have such a narrow view of who I am or that they don't think I'm capable of certain things.  But at the same time they're getting these perceptions from the way I've been presenting myself all these years.  To be honest, I'm still a little, okay a lot, shocked by my own actions.  I just kept thinking "This isn't me, I never do this", over and over again but I can't escape the fact that it happened so does that mean I am that person or does it mean that there are just sides of me that I never had the chance to fully explore before.  I guess that's what growing is all about and I just have to figure out the direction I want to grow in so as not to stray too far into that grey area of doing things I normally wouldn't just for the sake of trying something new even if it isn't something I'm particularly interested in.  Sorry that this post is so convoluted my thoughts are kind of all over the place at the moment.  Re-reading this makes it sound like I robbed a bank or something so I should clarify, I was well within the limits of the law, just not my own moral compass.  I broke a rule of mine that, while extremely silly and very outdated, I have truly believed in at least on principle.  I'm just not sure if I want to explore that path any further and I'm also not sure if my hesitancy to do so is a result of others reactions or because I really shouldn't or because of my previous notion of life holding me back... so many if's and's or but's in this process for me! In the end, I think that our wildest moments are when we triumph the most and when we fail harder than any other time.  It's all a big question mark out there and the only person who can answer it for us is ourselves so at some point in our lives we have to take chances and try to chip away at the unknown.  And try not to let what others believe to sway you, I've found that most people can be easily persuaded to change how they view someone else.  Whew.  I'm going to try to stop freaking out about this completely out of character night for me and just be amused and a little intriqued by it! Who knows what else the future holds for me, hopefully my sophomore year of college will start it off right and if last night was any indication, it's going to be an interesting year!
Shout out to my friend for coming to my work today and hanging out with me so I didn't die a slow and painful death by boredom!  Holy Cannoli do I have a story to tell you tomorrow at dinner!

Song Suggestion: Wildest Moments by Jessie Ware; she writes her own music and this song spoke to me on so many levels today it's not even funny.  Also, after listening to this if you don't immediatley go listen to everything else she has out there then you are a heartless soulless individual (not really I'm sure you're very nice, just have different tastes)
Have a RUN-believable day!